Abstinence-based programs are not the only problem with sex ed in the U.S. Even mainstream comprehensive sex ed programs are rarely comprehensive; they often omit vital topics, such as pleasure, and exclude LGBTQ+ sex entirely. This hole is divided into two lanes. The first, which is littered with obstacles, represents the danger of abstinence-based curricula. The second, which is less obstructed, represents what is often described as comprehensive sex ed. While the latter often discusses contraception and abortion, it often omits topics like gender identity, masturbation, and pleasurable sex. The presence of obstacles in both lanes demonstrates that while comprehensive sex ed is clearly more effective than abstinence-based curricula, comprehensive sex ed is rarely as feminist or queer as it could be. Feminist and queer approaches to sex education would feature information on how to make sex pleasurable for everyone involved, not simply safe or effective at preventing unwanted pregnancy or STIs. It is time to put the sexy in sex ed!